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Actual situation or Purpose?

On this path of living my purpose, I feel confronted with multiple challenges. When I have to make a decision I try to ask myself if I do it out of fear or because it is my purpose and I do it with love. This last time and especially these last weeks reality continues confronting us.

When we want something it means that we have to choose. And when you choose, you step out of your comfort zone to create a series of new possibilities that also means leaving many things behind. This part is the one that scares us the most. This is where fear and guilt comes together.

Imagine that you want to switch from job, but you don’t dare, especially in the current situation. Your passion is elsewhere, but your security is in the current job that bores you enormously. What do you do? What if it doesn’t work out for you?

It’s like being married and having a lover! Surely, internally you want to go with your lover, but you don’t want to break your marriage and what it all means. But deep down you also know that you don’t want to stay there. For a while you can play both cards and go from one to the other, but what happens when the lover asks for more or when the husband / wife finds it out?

There are times when one would wish the decision is made for you: I hope my husband / wife leaves me so the issue is resolved. This way we do not make the decision to not feel guilty. We do not want to bear the consequences of our choice. Furthermore, we want to keep in the victim role and not in the guilty role.

Transferred to the labor issue, if the company kicks me out, then issue resolved. So we don’t have to choose and we fall into the role of the victim again… ..see what happened to me.

Fear and guilt make us stay in a situation dreaming to live our dreams, until live decides for you! Life can kick you out of your life’s work, your husband can leaves you and your lover too! So if you don’t choose, life chooses for you! And then you regret not having made YOUR decision.

Okay, message understood, and then ?????

  • When you want to make a decision, ask yourself if you choose out with love or with fear? Ask your heart what you feel and be honest with yourself. Remember: Fear contracts you and love expands you. When you make decisions out of love, they will be more sustainable for you and life will support you. Decisions made with love are those that make you live your purpose day by day and therefore, you will feel alive and fulfilled.
  • When it is difficult for you to let go of fear, I advise you to investigate the root of that fear and work on it. When you know the roots of fear, there are techniques available to deal with it.
  • Be aware of decisions made out of spite. If you want to leave a job or your partner, or whatever … be careful of spite, revenge, hatred, etc. because that energy turns against you. Your decision has to be that one you choose for yourself, because you want to choose and not to prove something to someone.
  • Life is made up of cycles. Think that we live certain situations to learn something, and that when we have already learned it, that cycle can be closed. When you get bored in a job because you are very comfortable and it is no longer a challenge, it is because you have already learned what you had to learn and can move on to the next phase. The same is true in relationships, you are with someone to learn something. Changing the cycle does not mean leaving your job or partner, it means going to another level to achieve another learning. That is, whether your decision is to stay or leave, let it be consciously to open another cycle of learning and continue growing.
  • What do we do with guilt? Guilt is a concept that we have acquired from religion and that has a moral connotation of what is right or wrong. But this concept does not help us. When we really choose out of love and feel guilty, it means that we are living our life. On a systemic level, feeling guilty means breaking with your clan, breaking the rules in order to live your life. Taking the blame is taking responsibility for your decision. That means being an adult and not falling into victimhood.
  • Many times we do not want to choose because we know that the period after the decision will be hard. Here you can think that transition times can be turbulent, but that calm comes after the storm. Think like when you go on vacation to a distant destination. Usually it is tiring, heavy, sometimes it gets complicated because you lose the connection between two flights, it is uncomfortable to fly so many hours, sometimes there is turbulence. You have to take the plane, the train, the boat… ..but after all, you arrive at your destination, and that destination is beautiful !!!! In addition, that journey will also depend on you, on how you decide to experience it. Even if it is tough and tiring, you can also enjoy turbulence! When you step out of the comfort zone, you have to go through the fear zone and the learning zone to get to the purpose and growth zone.
  • When you decide to change, do it clearly and give the appropriate signals. You don’t have to be radical, but be clear and honest. I mean, don’t go with the lover and keep maintaining your marriage, just in case! If you decide to change jobs, look for the best way to do it, and for example, don’t force them to kick you out to get money, just in case!
  • Prepare yourself to face the fear zone: all the comments, criticisms, opinions, your excuses, etc. Your environment will always want you to stay where you are and many times you will boycott yourself, because it is comfortable, practical and you are used to it. Any change of yours means a change for those around you and for yourself. Remember here that it is your life and that you decide what is right for you. You can also ask for support from your environment, explain to them that it is also difficult for you to make a certain decision and that what you need is their trust and support.
  • When you make the change, be grateful for everything you have learned in your current situation and try to say goodbye in the best way. We must close well and thank the previous stages to create space for the new period.

All these points are summarized in the choice based on fear or based on love, I hope this reflection will help you to decide!

Workshop Systemic Constellation

Observe the root of your situation and widen your view.

Family Constellations are a very good tool that can help you both personally and professionally. Here are some examples of the areas where it can help you:

–  Health issues: diseases or symptoms. If you have already tried several routes, but you continue with the disease, with the discomfort or symptoms, we advise you to see the family intricacies. Through the constellation you can observe the origin of the situation.

– Work, economic or material-related issues.

– Blocks in different areas of your life such as your partner, work, family, friends, children.

– Fears, addictions or any trauma that you want to overcome.

Through the Family Constellations you receive new information regarding the situation you want to deal with and this helps you to broaden your view. This technique differs from others by its speed, both in seeing the origin of the problem, and in the fact that the person notices the effects of the constellation in his life most of the times very soon.

In any case, this is not a cure and the results of benefits may differ from your expectations. Our body knows what is good for us, but often our mind thinks differently about it.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

  • At the beginning of the workshop, information on systemic work will be given and the participants will be guided gradually so that everyone feels safe, comfortable and open to participate in this workshop.
  • You can choose to participate as a client and that means that you want to solve a question and that we will make a constellation on your topic. To do this, first you will contact me to expose your situation that will be dealt with during a constellation. During the constellation the privacy of each person is highly respected and it is not necessary for the group to obtain the information on the subject.
  • As a representative you will participate to represent the role when you are chosen. Representatives also benefit from the roles played in the constellations.
  • You can participate whether you have experience or not. If you’ve never participated in a constellation, you can start with my initiation workshop first or attend the constellation as a representative.
  • Within a workshop we will do 3 to 4 constellations.

Workshop Initiation to Systemic Constellations

In this article I am glad to present you the new workshops that I will be holding until the end of 2020.

After the great success of the first Systemic Constellations Initiation workshop, I have decided to plan more introductory workshops to Systemic Constellations.

All the workshops will be Mixed mode: Face-to-face and Online. There will be workshops in Dutch and in Spanish.

Due to the current situation, I believe that we all have to adapt and be able to continue moving forward in the current circumstances. Today it is difficult to plan for everyone and that is why I will try to offer you maximum flexibility, respecting the comfort and professionalism that this inner personal process requires.

Here below you will find the information about it and shortly it will be announced continuously on the website.

DISCOVER YOUR SUBTLE ENERGY AND THE POWER OF SYSTEMIC WORK

This workshop is for you if …

You want to have a first contact with subtle energy (or inner power), the philosophy of systemic work and family constellations. This workshop is aimed at anyone, both personally and professionally, to expand awareness and broaden their perspective regarding conflicts, obstacles and blockages.

What will you obtain at this workshop?

– Increased awareness of your energy and how to use it

– How to connect more with yourself

– Knowledge of the dynamics that may be affecting you at this moment

– Get in touch with tools that will broaden the perspective of your current situation

– Know how Family Constellations work

– Start the path to more inner freedom and joy of living

– Get an enriching experience with transformative sensations

Through the Family Constellations we receive new information regarding the situation we want to deal with and this helps us to broaden our view. This technique differs from others by its speed, both in seeing the origin of the problem, and in the fact that the person notices the effects of the constellation in his life, after performing it.

This workshop is divided into three modules:

1. Contact with subtile energy

Here you will have a first contact with your internal energy and how your subtle energy system works.

You will learn to:

– Notice the energy of your physical body in a practical way

– Begin to interpret the signals of your physical, emotional and mental body

– What are the different energy bodies and what is their relationship?

– We will carry out practical and simple exercises that can help you in your day to day life.

2. Systemic Philosophy

In the first module we have discussed your individual energy and now we will see how you are part of different systems.

– Brief introduction to systemic theory.

– Systemic exercises where you will observe, among others, your position in the system and some of your dynamics.

3. Systemic Constellations

Systemic constellation is the tool that helps you to observe the systemic environment.

– You can choose to be a client (optional) and observe the origin of your situation with a specific question that you would like to address.

– You can also participate as a representative.

– You will be able to observe how a constellation works in a safe and professional way.

– We will do enough exercises so that all participants get enough contact with the tool.

I encourage you to try this experience that will be enrich many aspects of your life.

Ikigai

Discovering your purpose is not spending your life looking outside to find what you think is for you and that will make you happy. Your purpose is within you and that is why I propose that you do the exercise of sitting down to observe, listen to yourself and look within. It is not about finding THE purpose, but living YOUR purpose from within.

The tools proposed by Héctor García and Francesc Miralles in their Ikigai method can help you carry out this exercise of looking within, within yourself. In this article, I have chosen some of these tools to guide you in that look inside. You can do this exercise both personally and professionally. I am going to focus on the professional level, because, given the current situation, you may find yourself in the positionof rethinking how you invest your time and energy at work.
The Ikigai method is based on four circles and there are different exercises to define each circle. I will comment on an exercise for each circle, for inspiration.

  • DREAMS. What you love.

A great starting point is that of dreams: with our passion, with those things that inspire us and what we love.
What is it that you love to do?

If you do not know how to identify your passion, going through what you do not like you will get to what you like. Take a piece of paper and make a list of all those tasks in your job that you don’t  like and why you don’t like them. When you have it done, identify the common denominator of those tasks. Then make a list of everything you do like and look for the common denominator. Then write down the time you spend on the two columns and observe. What are you spending your time and energy on?

  • YOUR SKILLS. What you are good at. Feedback

Your talents are those qualities and abilities that you have by nature, which are innate. However, you will learn some along the course of life.
Many people have a hard time detecting what their talents are. If this is your case, think of simple things, those things that you do without realizing it and that do not require any effort. Probably, you do not consider them talent because for you they are the most normal thing in the world. This is the true essence of your talent; observe what has been given to you so naturally that you do not pay any attention to it, and that is exactly your natural talent!
Surely, your colleagues always ask you for the same things, what do they often ask you to do?

Moreover, when you have identified it, ask yourself again: how much time do you spend on what comes naturally to you in your work and how much time do you spend on what is an effort and really costs you?

  • YOUR VALUE. What can you are paid for.

Have you ever thought that some of the best things that have happened to you in life have been by chance or accident?
In the world of science, it is well known that many great discoveries are made by accident and not by planning. That is serendipity.
In addition, you wonder, what does this have to do with my worth? Well, it has to do with it, because we do not often value ourselves, we pigeonhole ourselves in the known and we think that they are only going to pay us for what we know and we ourselves close the doors to new opportunities.

Therefore, it opens the door to the unexpected. Practice serendipity, get out of your comfort zone, talk to someone you don’t know, send a message to someone, even if you think they won’t answer you, talk to a partner you don’t normally talk to, offer help to someone selflessly, do something you havent done before.
Then, ask yourself again: how many of the things that have happened in your life have been by chance or accidental?

  • YOUR SERVICE.What the world needs. 

You can close the circle with this part: your service, your profession, your vocation. When you have rethought the circles and exercises above, how do you think you could transform it into service, what can you offer to the world you already have inside? Perhaps it is what you are already doing now or you are going to rethink.

Kyudo is a Japanese word and it is archery. In Japan, they define it as a practice to exercise the soul since it integrates body, mind and spirit. It is also a Zen practice where we learn to be patient, constant, humble and flexible. This practice teaches that the value lies inside the archer, not within the external target.

You are the archer and you have your share of responsibility. You decide what service you want to provide and how you want to do it. We often put the blame on the job, the boss, the company, colleagues. However, what about you? What part of responsibility do you have? What could you do to improve the situation? What mental changes can you make so that the situation does not recur or does not affect you?

In closing, I would like to remind you that energy follows thought. What we focus on is what we are going to attract.

Think about a situation today that you did not want: have you been thinking that you did not want such a person to call you? So, did he call you?
Have you thought that surely such a client would not pay you? So, has he paid you?
Consider how much energy and time you spend on things you dont want, and how much you spend on things you do want to happen.
Think about what it really IS your purpose and live it, appreciate it and thank for what you DO have today.
What passion, what talent, what value and what service are you living today?

Coaching in Procurement

My life would definitively not be the same without coaching. The day I stepped into the incredible world of coaching, my life became easier and I started to understand why I was reacting, the way I was doing it, to certain things, attitudes, situation or people.
I have been working in procurement for almost 20 years. In all those years, I have attended several trainings; I have experienced team dynamics and have had several evaluations. I am also lucky that I have had the support of several managers and colleagues who have helped me throughout the way.
However, I have never had a coach or a mentor. A couple of years ago, I stepped into my first coaching session, and then I understood and experienced the full benefits of coaching.
Coaching helped me to understand myself better. Often, I was taking certain situations in a personal way. For example, I often thought that if someone in my team was not comfortable it was my responsibility. Through coaching I could make the difference between the consequences of my actions and the own projections of the person. I can now better stand in my position and make a better difference between my own responsibility and the one of others.
When I started my own coaching process I could recognized my natural talents and made an evaluation of what I wanted to do for the next 20 years. Through my transformation process my purpose became clear and that’s why I decided to start my own business to use my professional experience and my journey to help other professionals and individuals in their transformational journey.

Why I recommend coaching in Procurement?
During the last years, procurement organizations have been successful in delivering costs savings, supply reliability, cash and sometimes innovation and, on the other hand, they have struggled to play a more strategic role.
At the present moment, we are asking to the purchasers to be also risk managers, sustainability enhancers, continuous improvement of relationships and processes, participating in a global market, understand and apply new technologies, business analytics minded, leading in innovation, collaborate effectively, increase transparency in the supply chain, be agile and by the way doing their procurement tasks and realizing the expected savings in their company.
To this environment, we need to add the fact that the current Purchasing managers will be
likely replaced by millennials.
That means that procurement needs to become much more strategic with purpose and a strong, credible business partner in identifying and delivering value to the business in an increasingly VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous) world.

How are you going to manage it all?

To achieve a higher performance in this context, it´s time, among other aspects, to ask for individual or team coaching for the following reasons. In this article, I will focus on benefits of individual coaching with my personal touch, as I know the Procurement and Coaching environment:

  • Development of self-awareness.

Self-knowledge and self-awareness will help you to be a much more coherent professional/leader. Coherent meaning that you will do/implement what you really think and what you feel. Especially millenials will lead this change, as they really want to find meaning and purpose in what they are doing.

  • Are you in the right position and in the right place?

What’s more, do you really want to be there? This is of course a very difficult question and requires an honest reflection; however, it is crucial for you and your environment. Are you occupying a position where you can release all your potential and is this path what you really want? If this is not the case, eventually, you will face many roadblocks and you will leave the company or get a burn out in extreme demanding conditions. A coach can guide you to identify which is your optimal function and what you really deeply want.

  • Release your potential.

If you are in the right position, it is time to release all your potential. A coach will help you first, to understand your skills and personality so you can focus on your natural skills. For me, this is also crucial. Of course, we can learn and we can train abilities, but it will require a much bigger effort. The key is to concentrate your efforts in the tasks and responsibilities that are natural for you.

  •  Build confidence and trust.

As soon as you understand your potential, you will be more confident and trusting yourself. A coach can help you identify your limiting beliefs and struggles so you can overcome them.

  •  Communication

You will improve your communication skills so you will engage your stakeholders in a much more effective and reliable way. You will present your plans with much more clarity and focus to engage and motivate your public.

  •  Management skills.

If you are a manager or want to become a manager, a coach will help you to do that from your natural mpowerment. That means that being in your position and in your power you will be able to manage your people using your own style. I have seen often and experience by myself that as a manager, when you step out in other positions you then lose your power or give it to someone else.

  • Negotiation skills and managing your suppliers (and stakeholders).

Like in management skills it is very important that you keep your position firmly and that you transmit coherence and clarity in your message. Only then, you will get effective and affordable results.

  • Strategic skills.

You will work on recovering your own position, your power and your confidence; you will have the time and energy to evaluate the circumstances around you to generate the right strategic plans.

  • Flexibility and Resilience.

You can only be flexible and resilience if you really know and understand your core (your skills, behaviour and nature) and your place. When or if something happens, since you know and control your center, you will be able to recover much quicker.

For all these reasons, I recommend you to work with a coach if you really want to achieve your results. It would be nice if your company supports and finance the initiative, but in case they don’t, invest in yourself and you will recover the investment through the benefits pretty soon. Just notice that this is what top athletes do to improve their performances! And on top of that, be aware that coaching is not anymore just for high executives.

Leading from the heart

The social and vital experience of the last months is offering us an enormous opportunity to learn from the fantastic examples of solidarity, collaboration and, above all, love for the human being. We should take advantage of it and reflect on it, which leads me to raise the idea of whether current and future leaders can incorporate the following skills and values in their political management, highlighting that the decisions they make directly affect society:

Compassion.

The human feeling manifested from the contact and understanding of the suffering of another being. Be compassionate with yourself and with others. It would also involve doing things with passion for the other, whether it be for your workers, colleagues, clients, suppliers, etc.

Love.

Passion for leadership, for the company, for purpose, for people, the product and all stakeholders. Wanting to do things well, from the heart and with the purpose of contributing to society and to our planet.

Space.

Freedom of action. Give space, which at the same time means trust. A few months ago, many companies did not want home office work to avoid losing control of their employees, right now, those companies have had to let go of control and trust their workers.

Empathy.

Understand that we are human and that we are all wrong. Try to put yourself in the other’s shoes without taking away your responsibility. Understand that emotions are also present in business and deal with them. Very emotional times are coming and having empathy is what we would also want for ourselves.

Active listening.

Listen to your surroundings in a conscious way. If we want to resolve conflicts, we can offer availability and interest in the other. Not only listening to the words but also the emotions. What our interlocutor and environment really want and need.

Balance between giving and receiving.

Working is an exchange of services and financial compensation. This situation in some cases has become an abuse of power by both the employer and the worker. Now we could reestablish the balance with respect.

Balance between female and male energy.

Some time ago, an article on how female leaders have led this situation and how they have obtained a better result was published. All of us, men and women, integrate these two energies and although in the business world the balance has shifted towards masculine energy, it could be a good time to restore balance.

Healthy limits.

Leading with love does not mean giving everything; it means seeking balance and setting healthy limits for both parties. It is not saying yes to everything and being too permissive, but being clear and consistent.

 

We are in a period of transformation and now we can decide how we want the new reality to be. We have long complained about old models and in ways that we do not like, but it is entirely in our hands to create the new
model.